Midlife Muddy Mix

Midlife Mayhem. 

I'm currently sitting at my table, with a very, very sore behind. Because I'm trying hard to DO THE STRENGTH, Monday's CrossFit really worked my booty. Now I'm looking at this afternoon's workout, hoping to ride the fine line of challenge-without-injury. At this point in life, it's a very fine line, and also a confusing line. I don't feel like I recover as fast (sore booty today, for example) but I'm also feeling stronger than I have been at other points in my life. I'm seeing the weight I can lift move upwards-- glacially slowly, but it's still moving. So I'm feeling badass, but also, a very sore badass, which lessens the badassedness feeling. This feels very on brand for this time of life-- while I'm proud of myself for taking something new on, it also feels very hard. 

The lesson I feel like I keep learning over and over through menopause is the mobius strip of acceptance and possibility. Acceptance, because my body is more challenged (sorer muscles, developing asthma), while also seeing possibility (lifting more, having new adventures). Acceptance, because there are hard things happening (aging/dying parents, work challenges, kid struggles) and possibility (learning about myself and what really matters to me). 

The headlining picture for this week was taken on Sunday's Pig Farm ride. Kellianne turned to me and said, "Take a picture of me looking like a badass bike bitch"-- and then struck this pose. I've come back to it several times this week-- it's one of my favorites already. First, because we had a really fabulous time on Sunday, and this viewpoint is one of my favorites in the Bay Area. Second, because Kellianne IS a badass bike bitch, and I love being reminded that we all need to tell other people to take pictures of us looking badass. But finally because I also know that she's right in the midlife mud of it all, too, with plenty of internal (what is my body doing?) & external (what is my life doing?) challenges. It's the picture I'm going to hold on to-- midlife is hard, and in the midst of it all, we can also ride bikes with some badass bike bitches. 

 What feels particularly challenging for you at this point in life? And how does badass bike bitch possibility exist as well? Let's go ride some bikes, bitches!